Guest Blog Bash 2011: Celia from Breakfast at Target!

 

Moving on to Day 2 of TLHJGALL: Guest Blog Bash 2011, today we bring you CELIA from the fabulous Breakfast at Target!

I  love Celia and I hate Celia. I love her because we're alike in so many ways: both foodies who love-love-love to cook, both vintage-loving crafty girls with a hearty passion for cocktails, both photography-loving fools who've somehow ended up with men who have their crap together-- and that's all not to mention our undying love for Audrey Hepburn that started at a ridiculously young age thanks to Breakfast at Tiffany's. 

Celia's the one girl who would understand my need to keep perfume in my mailbox or have a bathtub sofa in my living room. She'd not call me crazy for my extensive Hepburn book/poster/paraphernalia collection or my eternal quest to hunt down a copy of Green Mansions.


I hate her a little bit because GIRL HAS GOT IT TOGETHER. While I'm floundering and flailing through life, Celia's a Southern peach with a gorgeous blog, a gorgeous-er wardrobe, and a blog so stylish, warm, and witty it feels like I'm in a Sex and the City episode every time I read it-- without the occasionally obnoxious dialogue or implausible plot lines. Her photography is stunning, her rants divine. She makes me laugh-- but better yet, she makes me think. 

Don't let the pink layout fool you-- Celia has true grit. She's one of my very favorite voices in the blogosphere.


So Celia, while I'm more than a little jealous of your fabulousness, it's still my honor to host you on The Loaded Handbag. (I tried to pull together a collection of Best Of B@T posts for you, but her blog is so smart it doesn't need unique URLs for every post and refuses to give them to me. Y'all are just going to have to explore her blogging briliance yourself. So go check out her blog. If you don't, I'll march you to the zoo and feed you to the yak.) 


So, ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to announce the lovely Celia Golightly!

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First off I just want to say that Nicki is DA BOMB. A kindred spirit in whiskey, Muppets, dance parties, and carbohydrates, it really is a small & blessed wonder our blogs connected – I really do look forward to Loaded Handbag posts. Secondly, being an obnoxiously over-scheduled grad student, the following post was written in a state of delirium due to lack of sleep, too much homework, and mania induced from watching (and winning!) my beloved college team’s football game. That means this could either be pretty entertaining or a big load of crap, but either way, I’m happy to participate.

To my dearest Nicki, I extend my humblest gratitude and adoration and raise a glass of AWESOME in your honor (it tastes like gin & sunshine, if you were wondering).

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Over at Breakfast at Target, we like to ask the questions everyone is thinking and call attention to the absurdity of culture, media, and generally-accepted nonsense of our society. You can find plenty of rants, raves, and what-the-hells over there, but today’s guest post highlights what I like to call: Let’s Get One Thing Straight.  In random conversations and/or the occasional ease dropping (hey, I can’t help if you’re loud and I’m a compulsive people-watcher), I find myself cringing and thinking WAIT-A-MINUTE all too often. I’m easily turned-off by addle-brained comments and get fired-up over silly things that I.just.don’t. understand. Below are the things that really get my panties under-roos in a bunch.

Breakfast at Target: “Let’s Get One Thing Straight”

Organic Food is NOT “Diet” Food

As a supporter of the local food movement and, well, food in general, I try to purchase as much as my fresh produce and other goodies from local vendors. Not only does it support the businesses and farmers in the area, but also it cuts down on transportation (aka, cheap!) and the food is largely grown without the use of crazy chemicals and pesticides. Healthy body, healthy environment, healthy local economy = WIN. But then there are those with the perception that “organic” means “low-calorie” or “diet.” (UH?) I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard people are eating/buying organic products because it’s “healthy” or they’re on an “organic diet.” (UH?) An “organic” cookie still has sugar and butter and oil YA BIG DUMMY. Lord have mercy. So, let’s get one thing straight – yes, buying organic produce and other foods (given that it’s a certified organic product) can mean smaller impacts on the environment and your overall health. BUT it does not always mean a smaller waistline.

Similarly…

Heavy Make-Up is for Sweet Sixteen Parties and Clowns. Not the Gym.

Y’ALL. Buying sassy, sexy “workout clothes” and layering on the eye shadow DOES NOT turn you into a Victoria’s Secret model. For Dudes, the same is true that buying Hanes tanks a size too small and wearing too much cologne will not turn you into David Beckham. Let’ get one thing straight: I like looking and working out like a champ, but preparing for the gym like you’re preparing for a Jersey Shore audition is darned stupid. For crying out loud, have some respect for the people actually trying to break a sweat; it’s really hard to push myself when I’m distracted by the smell of baby oil and the shiny details on your bum.

I Really Don’t Want to Hear About All the Details of Your Wedding
(Nor Does the Rest of the World.)

Ridiculous Facebook posts, blogs, and conversations about EVERY.SINGLE.THING going “so horribly wrong” with your wedding ain’t something I have time for. Bridesmaid dresses “mint” instead of “sea foam”? I’m more worried about missing Monterrey’s Happy Hour (work or $3 margaritas? No contest, people!). I “get” wedding planning is a lot of work and super stressful and full of drama, but WHYYY? I thought it’s supposed to be the freakin’ happiest day of your life? If it’s so horrible, save yourself thousands of dollars and quit trying to please 200+ guests who are all going to give you gifts you end up hating, head to City Hall, and celebrate with $3 margaritas and all-you-can-eat tacos afterwards. The people who can put up with you after tequila and refried beans should be the only people present at your matrimonial vows anyways. So, let’s get one thing straight: If you have to remind us 100x’s a day how devastatingly painful your wedding planning it going, then you should probably start reprioritizing. I’m appropriately terrified of getting married now, so none of y’all can complain when I don’t throw an epic reception with bounce houses and make-your-own-cheese-fries station and open bar with signature bevs. It’s yo’ own dang fault!

Audrey Hepburn is an Inspirational Person, not a “Style Icon.”

Anyone who’s known me longer than 5min knows I’m a huge Audrey Hepburn fan. Not only has she starred in some of THE best films of all time (FACT.), she left an incredible legacy of loveliness and altruism. When folks discover just how much I love Ms. Hepburn, the overwhelming (and depressing) response I get it, “Oh mah gah, yeaaah. She’s such a style icon.” This is, indeed, a huge component of Audrey’s lasting impact; but to suggest that is her biggest contribution in life is to suggest Ghandi was only good for his quotable speech marks. So, let’s get one thing straight – her “style” was far more than little black dresses and tights with flats. It was an essence of grace made eternal by well-crafted designs and a spirit so peculiarly in love with the world and the people in it. Should the desire to learn more about her peak your interest, I have a slew of suggested readings.

There. Guest post = Complete.
Whew! That was fun! HA!

Nicki, I hope you’ll still be my friend after this.
The rest of ya’s? TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

(As a pithy disclaimer, for anyone reading this, NO it’s not about specific people and NO I didn’t intend to offend anyone. Rather, it’s a cry for do-ya-feel-me?! help… These are all expressions of my own opinions, stated in hopes of finding out if I’m actually in good company or am simply doomed to be a cranky old bat. I can handle it either way.)